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Ultra Independence - The book 

Gail Weiner

Available July 2024

You are here because you recognise that past trauma has forged you into an ultra-independent. Life has taught you the hard way that the only person you can truly rely on is yourself. You’ve learned to fight your own battles, to be your own hero, to build your own castle. You are the ruler of your own kingdom, the master of your own destiny.


This fierce independence has been your saviour, your shield against heartbreak, betrayal, and loss. It’s how you’ve survived abandonment, abuse, grief – all those gut-punches that life has thrown your way. No matter how hard you’ve been knocked down, you’ve always picked yourself back up, dusted yourself off, and carried on. Tenacity, grit, self-reliance – these are your superpowers.


Others marvel at your strength, your unshakeable competence, your ability to handle anything on your own. You’re the one they turn to in a crisis because they know you’ll have your shit together. You’re the fixer, the rock, the one who never breaks a sweat.


Asking for help? Admitting vulnerability? Revealing that you don’t have all the answers? Not a chance. You’d rather walk over hot coals than show weakness or need. It’s not that you’re too proud to ask for help – it’s that experience has taught you that depending on others only leads to disappointment. And honestly, you’ve gotten so damn good at doing everything yourself, why would you settle for anything less than your own perfection?


But here’s the thing: even for badasses like us, there comes a point where ultra-independence stops feeling like a superpower and starts feeling more like a cage, like armour we can’t take off even when it’s suffocating us, like a crushing weight we were never meant to carry alone. Sure, being able to handle everything on our own is incredible, but it can also be isolating, exhausting, soul-crushing.


What if there was another way? What if we could maintain our strength and competence while also allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to ask for and accept help, to lean on others and be leaned on in return? What if we could dismantle these sky-high walls we’ve built around our hearts without compromising our hard-won independence?


I know, it sounds terrifying, especially for those of us who have been burned before. But what if I told you it was possible? That ultra-independence and interdependence don’t have to be mutually exclusive? That we can learn to balance our ability to slay on our own with the deep, profound joy of genuine connection?


This book is an invitation to explore the origins of your ultra-independence, to examine how trauma has shaped your beliefs and behaviours, to heal old wounds, and to expand your vision of what’s possible. We’ll dive into how ultra-independence shows up in different areas of life – relationships, career, family, grief. We’ll unpack the generational blueprints that led you here and the subconscious patterns keeping you stuck.


Through a mix of hard-hitting truth, vulnerable storytelling, and practical tools, I’ll show you that softening into your humanity doesn’t make you weak – it reveals a strength beyond measure. You’ll learn to love and trust yourself more deeply than ever before. You’ll rewrite old narratives and embrace your worthiness. You’ll practise receiving gracefully and asking for help shamelessly. You’ll come to understand that your independence and your desire for connection can coexist peacefully.


This is a journey of reclamation, of coming home to yourself fully, of building a life that aligns with your deepest desires and values. It will be challenging at times – growth always is – but it will also be more rewarding than you can imagine. By the end of this book, you will have the tools and mindset to stop white-knuckling your way through life and start living with more ease, joy, and connection.


So take a deep breath, my fellow ultra-independent warrior. You’re in the right place. Your healing starts now.


Let’s do this.

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