I've been reflecting on my years in the corporate world lately. Quick disclaimer: it wasn't all bad. I had great experiences and learned valuable lessons. But at this point in my life, I need to unpack and process some of the shit I went through. It's a necessary step in my personal growth and healing.
One incident from 2009 stands out. I was managing a team for a financial client, and we had this incredibly talented data specialist. He was every Project Manager's dream: give him a task, and he'd dive in, working diligently until he delivered exceptional results. He only raised his head if there was a potential risk; otherwise, he just got on with the job.
What made him even more remarkable was his character. He was genuinely good - solid, kind, and deeply religious. Although he worked on my team, he was technically employed by another outsourcing firm and he was loyal to that company.
Things changed when my manager approached me with a new directive. He explained that, strategically for growing business at this finance institution , our company wanted all team members on our payroll. I spoke with the three team members employed by other firms. Two agreed to join us, but my star data specialist declined. Despite knowing his current employer faced financial difficulties, he chose to stay loyal.
When I relayed this to my manager, his response was swift and cold. He instructed me to terminate the data specialist's contract immediately. The next day, with a heavy heart, I called him into the boardroom to deliver the news. He asked directly if his termination was because he refused to join our company. I couldn't speak, so I simply nodded.
His response has stayed with me. With disappointment and resignation, he said, "So I guess you're just doing what you were told. I suppose loyalty doesn't pay, does it?" We left in silence, and true to his gentlemanly nature, he held the door open for me as we exited.
Walking ahead of him, I was overwhelmed by how cold and callous I'd become. Everything felt wrong, yet I'd followed orders like an obedient employee. In that moment, I realized: I had sold my soul to corporate.
This incident stands out as one of the darkest hours of my integrity. It was painful to walk in the shoes of someone I didn't recognize or respect.
Now, when people ask about my issues with corporate culture, I explain it's not about the corporations themselves. It's about what that environment can drive us to become. It's about the choices we make under pressure and who we might turn into if we're not vigilant.
So, I'm sharing my stumbles and falls. Sometimes, our lowest moments push us to grow, to change, to become who we're meant to be.
To all women navigating the corporate jungle: stay true to yourselves. Your integrity is worth more than any promotion or bonus.
Here's to learning from our mistakes and building a future where we can thrive without compromising who we are.
To brighter futures,
Gail x
Comments