Pockets of Joy
In 2017 I gifted myself with an 8 month sabbatical from the reality of my life.
I befriended some 25 year old's, we would go watch sunsets, take long drives, go dancing till 5am. That’s the part I loved the most. Dancing, it makes me feel alive, and sometimes in my life I forget this and I don’t dance, for months, years even, then I remember that I have to dance.
So that’s what I did in 2017, and I don’t regret one moment of it. It was great hanging out with the young group because they saw things with an excitement, which I had forgotten. They watched a sunset as if it was their first, watching the stars was full of joy for them, a joy I had forgotten. Through them I learned to feel excited again by the small stuff. We also hiked up mountains, on which I did get stuck coming down because I am scared of heights, but I got back down eventually. They helped me to do things I was afraid of. They taught me how to live in a way none of my older friends have ever done. I truly thank them for that. They were however exhausting, my word, young people have energy :) Sometimes I struggled to keep up.
This week I reminded myself that I have forgotten to dance. And so I danced. Maybe I will go climb a mountain next weekend ;)
At the end of 2017 I visited Liverpool for Xmas.. I randomly chose to stay at an Airbnb of which the owner was an artist. He also happened to be super cool. And we landed up spending 2 weeks drinking cocktails at his kitchen table and talking about the most bizarre topics possible.
He taught me how to love again. It was a magic two weeks where I fell madly in love, then I left Liverpool and have never seen him again.
Why am I telling you this? Because the few years prior to 2017 where absolutely shit and I honestly did not think I would feel excitement nor love ever again and there came 2017 and surprised me.
This week I have been thinking a lot about that.
Last week I was walking back from the shops with a fake cactus from the charity shop. So I am walking back home with the cactus and this handsome guy passes me and says nice cactus.
He stops and tells me he grows them and he would like to pop past mine and gift me an offshoot from his cactus.
So he arrives with a beautiful potted cactus for me and I give him a crystal quartz stone from my collection.
We thanked each other and we hugged and shared a moment (might I remind you that hugging has pretty much been banned since Covid, I absolutely love hugging people, when I meet them I hug them, but Covid says I cannot do that any more)
And these brief human interactions of kindness and love are what makes the world go round.
My cactus is sitting on my bedroom windowsill looking for the sun.
I spent so much of my life chasing the happiness, believing that when I found it than I would be happy all the time.
This is not true.
We can find moments of happiness but we cannot sit in bliss all the time, it is totally unrealistic
So now I look for pockets of joy.
Oh the birds are singing, yay.
Someone gave me a cactus, happiness.
Laughing with my son, bliss
I cooked a great meal. Oh yum
Moments of joy, that is what we are looking for.
Look for those tiny pockets of joy. Maybe a coffee, some sunshine when you go out for a walk, a email from a friend, a song in your head.
Keep looking ...