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  • Writer's pictureGail Weiner

Balancing Self Confidence & Self Love

Self confidence and self love are not the same thing.

Self confidence is the belief that you can achieve anything, That you are able to smash your goals and beyond. Self confidence walks in the room with a swagger and an attitude that they belong here and can make all their dreams come true.

Self love is the belief that sits within ourselves that tells us we are okay no matter whether we achieve our goals or just remain the same. Self love is the understanding that you are perfect no matter what. Self love glides into a room knowing that you are always loved, protected and safe.

It is important to understand the difference.

I have met people who have incredible confidence, they can hold peoples attention and speak with clarity and conviction. They trust their inner voice and respect their wisdom. Confident people are not afraid to make a decision. Yet these same people might not have any self love. They could have no boundaries and be constantly comparing themselves to others. They might not feel self love unless their confidence is being fed. And confidence without self love is a hungry one. She constantly requires feeding through reassurance and praise.

Self love means you love yourself without comparison. You are comfortable in your own skin. You respect yourself and honour who you are, just as you are, right here and right now. Self love means you hold your well being and happiness in high regard. You take care of your own needs without sacrificing yourself to please others.

Confidence does not walk hand in hand with self love. The two live separately and don’t need each other to survive.

The benefits of confidence are the ability to be unafraid to try new things, better performance and resilience and stronger relationships.

The benefits of self love are less stress and anxiety. A happier outlook on life and ability to navigate life with a positive outlook. Self love ensures you have healthy boundaries with others and don’t exhaust yourself trying to gain others validation through approval or love.

Your aim is to have both the confidence to believe you can achieve your dreams and the self love to be gentle and patient with yourself.

Finding this balance is the key.

for more on this topic, contact me for one on one sessions at

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